Trauma Doesn’t Look the Same to Everyone

  • Bonnie Nolan, Phd, LCADC – Nolan Center for Behavioral Health

“But I had a great childhood!”

The word “trauma” seems to be everywhere these days, and for good reason: researchers and practitioners of psychology are just beginning to understand the implications of trauma. Who experiences post-trauma symptoms, including PTSD, and why? And what treatments actually work? A great many people who might benefit from trauma work are missing out, maybe due to the stigma around therapy. Many people don’t recognize that they have even suffered trauma. People with seemingly uneventful or even “really happy” childhoods suffer from substance, alcohol, food, gambling, cutting and sex addictions.

Many clinicians, including myself, believe that addictions are rooted in some level of trauma. Whenever I ask students or clients what they think of as trauma, I get the same few examples: experiences on the battlefield, personal violence, including rape and childhood abuse, or a terrible accident. If this is true, then only people who have been through catastrophic events would have trauma symptoms; we are beginning to realize that this is a very incomplete picture.

Born with a Sunburn

I love a good self-help podcast – Rich Roll is one of my favorites. He is an athlete in long term recovery from alcohol use disorder. Gabor Maté, a renowned author and MD specializing in addiction, has been a guest on the RRP at least twice. Both times he has made brilliant observations on trauma, and his stance is that all addiction stems from trauma.  

Gabor Maté and Rich Roll discuss Trauma and Addiction

When describing his own seemingly idyllic childhood to Gabor Maté, Rich expressed his concern that Maté’s theory about addiction might be flawed, as Rich did not recall any “real” trauma.  Gabor Maté was able to counter it quickly: Rich had never been sexually or physically abused. But Rich had been bullied, and his parents, teachers and coach had not acted decisively, despite being very caring and loving people.

Rich had been, it turns out, traumatized by both the bullying and his parents’ inaction. “But lots of kids get bullied!” Rich protested. Maté countered eloquently, “This is where genetics come into play. Imagine I tap you on the shoulder right now. It would be a painless non-event. However, imagine you have a serious sunburn, and I tap you right where it hurts. Now, we have some pain. Some people are, genetically perhaps, born with a sunburn.” Rich experienced an “aha!” moment after hearing this analogy and has since started working on his own trauma-related beliefs so that healing can occur.

Gabor went on to stress that this does not mean that some people are overly sensitive to everyday occurrences; bullying should not be an everyday occurrence. The point is that while some people may have a resiliency that allows them to move on without any symptoms, others experience a radical change in their self-perception and their worldview. They may see themselves as less worthy, or they see the world as scary and think that they cannot trust others.

What do symptoms of trauma look like?

Victims of trauma may experience intense emotions such as anxiety, rage or sadness. They may struggle to find suitable ways to express these emotions or comfort themselves. They may have sex with numerous partners despite negative consequences. Often, trauma survivors drink excessively. They may eat too much, too often. And sometimes they engage in some version of all of the above.

Evidence-based trauma therapy can help. A qualified practitioner will work with a client to identify their problematic beliefs. Identification is key; once a person recognizes an irrational or unhelpful belief, they can dispute it. This is often a big step toward feeling better. To use the above example, Rich may have believed, as a child, that since nothing bad had ever happened to him, nothing bad ever would happen to him. When this turned out not to be true (he was bullied), his whole belief system may have shifted: he may have suddenly seen his previous “good life” as an illusion that ultimately would turn bad. Or, he may have lost faith that the adults around him could or would keep him safe. These beliefs can certainly lead to desperate measures to feel safe, including alcohol abuse. Rich could identify the problematic beliefs, practice disputing them, and learn coping skills that are not self-destructive.

If you are feeling stuck, finding yourself repeating self-destructive behaviors or just sad and anxious, consider the possibility that you are stuck in a trauma-induced belief system. Then, consider consulting a trained professional to help you break this pattern. Cognitive Processing for Trauma (CPT) is effective, efficient (8-12 sessions) and evidence based. You deserve to feel better; why not do this for yourself?

Trauma and Addiction